The Artist Presently Known As Ed

Our wedding invitation is something that I did in Photoshop and printed using the digital photo processing at Costco. This card and a smaller one done in similar fashion (to announce where our gift registries were) were sent out together. You'll see at the end of this journal that the thank you note was done in the same way. We saved a load of money and worry, and had a lot of fun investing in our own special event.

Kelli on the church lawn just one week before our wedding.

This is the day of the rehearsal as we stammered about in crudely choreographed ways, and fretted for the next day when we’d be on stage for real. I’ve been a part of many weddings as soundman, but here it was…mine. Don’t lock your knees…

A candid of Kelli in the “girl’s clubhouse” at home, the night before. Not a great shot, but it shows off her train.

While I was setting up the lights and sound and fetching the beer, Kelli was getting her hair done over a few hours. When it came time to relax in the hotel room hours later, the pins kept coming and kept coming!

Ronel Wishnuff, our church music director and master pianist. The music we had her play was stuff she can do in her sleep–Claire De Lune and some other easy stuff for walk–in music, and for the ceremony, we had her play two of Erik Satie’s Gymnopedies. The first was played as I walked in with Kelli to follow. The second was during the lighting of a unity candle later in the ceremony.

Best man Mike Thaxton. For both of us, this day’s attire was a far cry from the T-shirts and jeans we usually favor. After I set up the lights and sound, fetched the beer, and saw that the caterer finally arrived, we both dashed off to the house, got tidied up and got to the church on time. That was the third trip I made to church that day alone, and the sixth between Friday and Saturday combined. I got back to the church with about 20 minutes to spare and found that the caterer had unplugged my lights from an outlet that had gaffer tape placed over it with a note that threatened death (well, not really) to anyone who disconnected that cabling! In the process, they blew a circuit because they replaced my lights with a roast beef warming table. Kelli and Co. were downstairs and I could not get to the AC panel, so I had to send someone else in to reset the circuit. Kelli was getting antsy at the delay since supposedly she was the one setting the pace that day. I also had the recorder on that fragile circuit, and we had no other plans for recording, so I needed that to work. It was silly looking for me to have to run around in my full tux and be checking circuits and devices before my own wedding. It was typical of the sorts of activity I engaged in before so many other weddings for other people as soundman or assistant. In the end, I had to shut off two lights that lit up the trees, but the place still got a nice treatment, as you will see below.

It’s my party, and I can put up a godawfully large picture of myself if I want! Here I am, in the last few minutes of my single persons’ life.

A gathering of warm bodies making the already warm day warmer. Even though this started at 5:30, the room held the heat, and the sun hit hard in the western-facing windows. Add to that the heat of the occasion itself, and it was murderous in the tux.

Kelli’s procession in the wings. That’s Laurel, Clay, Tyler, Adrienne, Shelby, Kayln, Phil, Kelli, and Christine.

While they’re out there catching a cool breeze, the first movement of Gymnopedies is playing and I get up there where it's hotter than Hades and humid as Florida!

Laurel files in during the slow and graceful Gymnopedies #1.

Kelli’s crew, with Paul Horn Mueller back there under the organ pipes.

Here comes the bride, with Phil Calabrese deputizing as father.

The angels among us: Kayln, Shelby, and Adrienne.

Front row view.

Something like what I set my eyes upon for these 20 minutes.

A day that won't soon be forgotten!

Kelli had reservations about using the veil (due to patriarchal overtones), but came to terms with it eventually. If nothing else, it's just another thing of beauty, more depth to the whole getup.

Breathe. Don’t lock your knees…

Okay, just hold this pose for the whole time...

Clay and Tyler dutifully acting as ringbearers. We had this many ringbearers and flower girls to help people feel included, otherwise, yeah, one of each would have done fine. A couple of the crafty church ladies made the ring pillows for us, as well as the veil for the piggy on the cake.

One of the great moments came when Jerry was reading in all solemn tones reflections that each of us wrote to the other and emailed to Jerry, and that had not been revealed beforehand–he was the only one who knew the exact text of the entire service. Kelli was apprehensive about such a gimmick before the wedding, but obliged once I convinced her I would not embarass her. But still she didn’t know what I had up my sleeve! This picture almost certainly was taken in the second or three after my reflection on our history and future recalled the fact that one of the things that made me know she was the one, was that she didn’t run screaming when I professed my love for the band Jethro Tull! Oh, up there on that day, sweat running down my face, and getting sweaty palms while holding hands the entire time (not a planned thing–it just happened!), it was nice to be able to laugh out loud for a moment, and to regroup for the serious stuff to come.

Either it was the Jethro Tull statement, or it was a clever thing that I sneaked in about how long we’ve known each other. For Kelli, at the age of 28 at the time, I’d known her for half her life. For me, at the age of 31, I’ve known her for 45% of my lifetime. This line got a huge laugh too!



A nice vertical panorama of the glass, the arch and flowers, and the cross as we place the rings on each other’s fingers.

I don't know if Jerry had ever done a wedding like ours before, particularly with the scripts we gave him.

The second part of Gymnopedies was played as we turned and lit a unity candle. Later on, I had some Photoshop fun with it, making it look old and stuff.

The moment we’ve been waiting for! Jerry presented us after a prayer and a reflection on how this was one of his greatest joys in his years of ministry, having been part of our lives since we were teenagers.

It is accomplished!

So baby, what are you doing tonight? Let's blow this joint!

The closest thing to us “crossing (carrying her over) the threshold” was walking out the door together like normal people leaving a stuffy room in favor of the breeze outside. This will have to do for now!

And finally, outside again where it was something like 20 degrees cooler!

Kelli’s friend Ashley carried a vintage black and white camera for the day, and got a few neat shots that just do something special that the digital stuff can't do.

There were so many cameras at this event, just about every angle was covered.

I love this woman! In my reflection that was read before the audience, I wrote that in the crown of God’s creation, she was the jewel.

Our rings look nice but didn’t break the bank. We found them on a lark at a Native American traveling road show that Costco hosted. I think we paid about $125 for both. The Greek key geometric form, particularly wrapped into a circle, is a never ending one that spoke to us immediately. A line that I wrote in the reflection that Jerry presented mentioned the arcs of our lives coming together to form a circle, the eternal form. The engagement ring is one that my grandmother left for me to have when the time was right. It was months after her death before Kelli and I started dating, and though she did know Kelli, she had no way of knowing things would turn out this way.

Phil was drafted into this surrogate father role only about a week before the wedding, and after Kelli settled her mind that it would not be an unnecessary patriarchal vestige. We wrapped up a number of things in short order right up to the last week. Our engagement was only six months to begin with, and our planning really started in June or so after school wrapped up. Phil was a little surprised but readily obliged.

We did not hire a “wedding photographer” per se, but Tony our photographer has been into photography for years and years, and obliged. He got some great shots when possible, but one of the unfortunate oversights was lack of planning so that we could get “proper” shots like an established pro would get—varied wedding party shots, carefully posed, and all that. Everyone and his brother had a camera at the wedding, and since the ceremony ended and segued into the reception in short order, we were all hurried about and everyone clamored for pictures in the late afternoon light. In too many cases, there would be a number of cameras snapping close to the same time for the same pose, and everyone inside the picture would be looking at different photograpers! We really should have had one person taking shots for half an hour with candids to follow. But overall, we got something like 1500 pictures or more from all sources. It must be the best documented event of my life.

Damn it feels good to be a gansta.

Kelli with “sisters” Christine and Laurel Prince.

Kelli with her crew, essentially all of her Sunday School class at CCCPB.

Kelli’s grandmother Jeanne and mama Kay. Don’t they look absolutely victorious?

Me and my step mom Eda Desino, the only member of my family who bothered to show up. I think this could easily be the best picture of the two of us—ever.

My new family.

The wedding party at once. This one picture I had to Photoshop to save from being a little flawed. I had to paste in someone’s shoes and someone’s face from a similar picture to fix a pair of prematurely-changed shoes and a grimaced face that marked the original.

With Stacey Lancaster the de facto wedding planner and averter of disaster.

Jerry Lawritson, pastor and friend for half a lifetime (or 45% for me) by then.

My angel, more angelic.

Mike Thaxton and his girlfriend Amy. Mike ably assisted with keeping things fun. Here he is asking folks to come up say a few words as the spirit moves them. My computer in the background, with another porcine buddy, was our band for the night. I spent the week before downloading all sorts of stuff for parties, and got a ridiculously long list of stuff to pick from. MC Mike and DJ Amy did a great job of managing to get the people dancing and having fun, not missing any cues or anything. They did so well that the cops were called and closed it down later on!

Jerry spoke some tremendously nice and supportive words before all assembled. Too bad the recorder was not on during the various comments that people got up and delivered.

We got up to say a few words of thanks and to announce that the time had come for the cake cutting. Our limo had arrived early, and we were told so, but I didn’t want to leave that early, so we stalled for at least another hour or more to keep it going. Finally, at 8:30 or 9 we did the cake thing.

Kelli and I went to the local mountain town Julian on Valentine's Day 2004 and did the rubbernecking tourist shop crawl. We found some totally cute ceramic pigs in the store, but they were large. I took one to her and she offered to get it for me and then we went and agreed on this pair of smaller ones instead (one is Kelli, and the other is me, you see), and off we went. Two days later, on a totally forgettable Monday that was drab outside, cold and dark inside, and one of those “stay inside” days, she was feeling pretty down for the weather or a crappy day at work, and we were just laying around in bed. I’d already given her a ring that my grandmother once had and she took a liking to it but was totally bewildered about what finger it should be on. So, as we’re having this quiet moment that day, just before dark, she asked me what finger I intended for it to be on, and I had to just do my cute thing and say, ‘I thought you already knew that! You’re gonna be my Kelligirl forever and ever, right?’ And, without much fanfare or further ado, that was my proposal. The way I saw it, I saved boatloads of bucks on the airplane-with-a-banner, or having it posted on a billboard, or whatever else dudes do when they otherwise don’t stand a chance to get the girl.

I was okay with not shoving the cake in Kelli's face, but I was a bit bummed that I couldn't find the most oddly colored Chuck Taylor Converse shoes that were available. Or maybe giant red clown shoes.

One of our first jobs as a married couple was to try to use one knife to do one task, but with each of our hands in the pie, so to speak.

Feeding my partner hand-to-mouth while we are young is a novel thing done in good fun. Talk to us again when we are 85.

This offers a view of the four cakes in their spatially tiered display. We got four different types, and they all were stupidly good that I hated to see them go. We kept on for our first anniversary and it too was quite excellent even that far down the line.

Turnabout is fair play. And in this case, tasty play too.

I was a big proponent of the multi-cake thing because it meant that we could indulge in a variety of cakes that appealed to everyone. We had four different types that featured various combos of fruit or cream/pudding fillings and a light icing. We kept the piggy cake on the top tier for our anniversary.

Oy! Dancing. At least Kelli was having fun at that moment.

Okay, it had to happen. It’s hard to weasel out of dancing at your own wedding. It had to happen twice. Once with Kelli and once with grandma Jeanne. And it had to happen in public. The ban on Ed dancing was lifted for about ten collective minutes. The dance with Kelli was Lee Ann Womack’s song, I Hope You Dance. It was just a subtle hint, wasn’t it? I made jokes at the time but the song has since become enjoyable.

Phil Cole, my buddy in the sound reinforcement bizness supplied the speakers and powered mixer for nothing, and I borrowed the lights from Mitch Grant for whom we both had worked many years. Phil was ill with cancer during this time and really struggling to work enough to get by but not enough to get more worn down. He died in February, about six months later. He graciously let me use his stuff for a few days. I saw him only briefly before and after the wedding. Always a generous guy, he shared what he had right up to the last time I saw him on this weekend.