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Anniversary time!
TAPKAE.com: 10 years on the interwebs!

2012 is here! It was just around the end of 2001 when the first live versions of TAPKAE.com were put up. I don't really have screenshots, but at first it was just a promo for the CD Receiving. Now instead of pitching the sale to all who enter my lair, I am able to offer the SoundCloud approach—all downloadable with liner notes and all, and the ability to comment on the audio itself. Nifty!

In the winter-spring of 2002, TAPKAE.com finally did appear in a pretty elaborate first incarnation, something that is rather embarrassing to think of now. But there you have it. Ten years of TAPKAE.com. It's moved from a pretty self indulgent promo for my recording to a pretty self indulgent record of my life and thoughts in a way I never ever anticipated. Consider it the full length version of my epitaph, suitable for those who are detail freaks.

Raison d'etre

I have found that the very feeling which has seemed to me most private, most personal, and hence most incomprehensible by others, has turned out to be an expression for which there is a resonance in many other people. It has led me to believe that what is most personal and unique in each one of us is probably the very element which would, if it were shared or expressed, speak most deeply to others.
—Carl Rogers

We may misunderstand, but we do not misexperience.
—Vine Deloria

Welcome to TAPKAE.com

"I don't see how anyone would want to read it all for fun." —Robert Fripp

Entries in thanksgiving (1)

Thursday
Nov272003

Thanksgiving

IT’S TIME for the Hog Heaven Holiday Theme Music. Click on over to my other site to get the skinny (or fatty, since its really Hog Heaven we’re talking about here) on my Holiday Music. If you buy a copy of RECEIVING [link to downloadable tracks as of 2010] this holiday season, I’ll throw in a copy of the Hog Heaven Holiday Theme Music CD. Collect 'em all!

Things to be thankful for this year:

For one, despite an erstwhile desire to be otherwise, I am alive. I guess that a change of plans isn’t so bad. I think my dad and I got to some new realizations about our relationship that weren’t coming to us otherwise. He’s the only family I really have so it would certainly be good to work together more than against each other.

Then there is my angel Kelli who just keeps staying by my side no matter what. I get to miss her this T-givin' because she flew out to her dad’s family’s place in South Carolina. But I am spending the holiday with some friends of ours so it will be okay.

For the first time ever, just a month ago, I was scared for my house and home, due to the fires. The fire did come within about five or six miles at its closest, but on the day, that was actually frightening because there have never been any fires anywhere near here that would even remotely be threatening. The fire was marching relentlessly across the outlands in the county, but when it came into Scripps Ranch and then toward Miramar and was leaping ten lane freeways, I actually knew a bit of fear. Kelli was evacuated from her place, with the fire apparently coming within a mile of her apartment in Poway. As she evacuated, the news was that the roads were closing between her place and mine, so it took her a couple of hours and a 60 mile drive to make a 30 minute, 20 mile drive. With the whole town caught up in this mess, those were some long hours. Staying inside for three days straight with the windows and doors closed was certainly a concern. Even today, the ash from the burned out area has been taken up by the wind and is still raining down, despite a few weeks of really nice clear autumnal weather since the fire. So the tension is gone now, but in the moment it was pretty uncertain, in a way I never knew before.

As I said before (October 24, 2003), I am really happy with my job right now. It's not a big earner, but the way it makes me feel offsets that. I just keep thinking of how it gives my life meaning. I’ve done a lot of things for work that don’t give me meaning, and some that don’t even give me money. So that I have what I need to get by and some meaning, while still being allowed to be myself, is just fine by me. Sometimes I think we just make things too complicated.

I’m glad that the muse seems to be visiting me again. The relatively little time I’ve had the studio back together has been good to me. It was something that was a yardstick by which my depression was measured. Now, it seems to be working in reverse. The ideas are flowing more than I have been accustomed to. Paul Horn and I have been jamming and he has been really supportive of the stuff I do.

Then I might also nod to the Douglas Triumvirate: Robinson, Duhon, and Booth, each of whom play about four or five instruments—at least! Each has been supportive in the darker days, and those afterward. Each made me feel a lot better about the challenge ahead and listened to me and gave me things to think about.

I guess there is a lot to be thankful for.