Happy Birthday to Nikki, Chris' Response
Tuesday, October 16, 2012 at 12:13AM
The Artist Presently Known As Ed in correspondence, family dynamics

Today is my sister's birthday. I'm talking about my younger sister Nikki, who turns 35 today. Yesterday I paid her a visit since one of my stops was almost across the street from her place. No one was home. I left a solitary business card (the one I created for my work with Jubilee Economics), and on the back I scrawled the briefest of notes wishing her a happy birthday. Just about seven hours later or so, my other sister, Chris, ten years my senior, and self-appointed guardian of all things on that side of the family (she's just insistent on being stubbornly unwilling to communicate in a civil manner), wrote the following and I indulged her in what is about the only kind of chatter we engage in anymore. She doesn't seem to understand I've been in touch with other members of the family for just over a year now, and from their perspective, they never agreed to Chris making pronouncements that "no one" wants to talk to me. Chris got caught in a lie here. Watch as she squirms. I wish she'd just calm down and be someone to talk to like in the old days. Somewhere along the line she decided to offload her baggage on me and to scapegoat. And Nikki, never having lived a day in "my life" in San Diego, has hardly a genuine complaint of her own about me. I could only reason she's absorbed the toxicity around her over the years and internalized others' emotions. Anyhow, here's what transpired.

Nikki and Chris blissful without me wishing them happy birthdayNikki and Chris, c. 2011?

Christina Marshall: I dont know how you found out Nikki's address, but it was down right STALKER behavior. I did advise her to contact the authorities 7:22 PM

Me: I wished her a happy birthday. How are you? 7:22 PM

Christina Marshall: You found her address? Which was NEVER given to YOU!! Thats rather odd and creepy 7:24 PM

Me: It was given to me. 7:25 PM

Christina Marshall: Not by her! So whomever gave it to you has NO respect for privacy 7:27 PM

Me: I hope she has a good birthday. 35 if I did my math right? 7:28 PM

Christina Marshall: Your approach is so Bill Lucas. How fucking creepy is that!! WoW 7:37 PM

Me: Approach? You mean stopping to wish a family member a happy birthday? He doesn't do that. Not even for me, and I live in the same town. You think I can afford to drive to HB just to drop a card and get a hostile response from someone else? 7:39 PM

Christina Marshall: Wellll considering that "family" hasnt had contacted you?? Yes it is rather disturbing, to say the least 7:43 PM

Me: I don't know why you bother to concern yourself with this. I didn't address you in the least this morning. I bothered to think of you for your birthday and you wrote "thanks!" back to me. A simple thanks from Nikki would do fine. It is a civilized thing to do. 7:45 PM

Christina Marshall: Dont hold your breath on that! Shes too freaked out by this to even feel over joyed! Im involved because i was told of your stalker behavior 7:50 PM

Me: You're involved because you think you hold the keys to the whole family. You don't. You just enjoy the idea. But others (that you can find out from your own research) have shared info with me and have absolutely and directly refuted words that you've put into their mouths (regarding who doesn't want to be in touch with me). 7:52 PM

Christina Marshall: Hahaha! do you honestly reallly think that this family has you in interest? Think about it? No one is looking for YOU, right? My FAMILY does involve me 7:55 PM

Me: Someone from your branch of the family decided to wish me happy birthday. It was a nice gesture. Actually, two did. Doubly nice. 7:55 PM

Me: Your family involves you, but if you are lying about what they say or don't say, wish or don't wish, you're just lying. And someone you probably love has told me that your efforts to block me were not their ideas whatsoever. So maybe you're concerned but it's not your place to speak for others. 7:58 PM

Christina Marshall: Yeah okay. Goodie goodie 7:58 PM

Christina Marshall: Well that wouldnt be my immediate family! 8:00 PM

Me: It would appear you admit to being caught in a lie. If was planning on being a stalker, I don't suppose I'd hand over my business card with plenty of info. It's hardly sneaking around in the shadows that way. I don't really have anything to hide, see? 8:00 PM

Me: I'll leave it to you to figure out who may be nice enough to keep me in the loop. 8:01 PM

Christina Marshall: Well i know its not my mom, brothers or nikki. And especially my kids! 8:04 PM

Me: Tell me one thing. I was just surprised when you responded to my birthday wish with what sounded like some appreciation. Just wondering. 8:04 PM

Christina Marshall: I honestly do not believe you have contact within my "loop", considering it only consist of my mom, siblings, my kids and grandkids 8:12 PM

Me: Your mind might explode at things you don't know. Wouldn't it be better to relax and just be civil? It's a far nicer life being nice to people. Maybe you could write all your issues down for me on paper. Text is so... impersonal. I mean, you probably don't want me to call you or anything, do you? Even if I have your number now? 8:14 PM

Me: You actually have pretty good handwriting. Better than mine. I can't even read my shopping lists. 8:18 PM

Christina Marshall: LMAO! yeah my issues! Go enjoy your wife and life! Just remember this Ed, if anyone ever had true interests in you, dont you believe they would have contacted 8:21 PM

Me: It happened. Last year. Maybe one day I could tell you about it. It was pretty surprising to me too. We should have lunch sometime. It'd be good to catch up. 8:23 PM

Me: Okay. Gotta go walk the dog. Worked 14 hours today. Tired. Tell Nikki happy birthday, even if you have to not say it's from me. You two are difficult to love but I'll try anyway. Be good. 8:29 PM

Article originally appeared on The Artist Presently Known As Ed in word, image, and sound (http://tapkae.com/).
See website for complete article licensing information.