Saturday
Oct062007

« Customer Service  »

It is interesting how major companies can be totally unavailable to you when you have a reason to bitch, but if they need to get in touch with you, they will hound you with utmost efficiency and tenacity.

Some time back, I had some fraudulent credit card activity perpetrated through what I believe must have been an open wireless network connection at the house. (I know I was able to see that others were freeloading on the connection; my iTunes list would have foreign names, and it was interesting to see what other people had in their playlists.) So, some year and a half ago, this happened with an order to Columbia House. As soon as I realized there was this activity, I sent off an email declaring it was not my order, and please bury it and never send anything. If anything was sent, it wasn't to me, but I got the emails nonetheless, and each month, I turned down all the monthly selections that they try to ensnare people into getting by forgetfulness, or whatever. That is, when their emails actually provided a link to any space that I could access. A lot of the time, I got dead links that said there was a server error. Yet their email links didn't work to my satisfaction. I ended up calling a few times to reach no living human being.

Anyhow, the year long intro term must have ended, and despite rejecting all their stuff. The bill for the un-bought movies (that would be the full price stuff that you're supposed to buy over the year of the term) finally arrived at my house as a charge on my credit card. They wanted $94 for four movies and shipping. I called CH and again got no one, being perpetually stuck in the seven circles of hell on their phone system. I contested it on my credit card, having already had one of these instances for a missed selection of the month denial. The credit company was willing to take the charge off till things were resolved. I filed a fraud claim as well. Then it all got beyond fucking ridiculous.

I submitted a package of materials consisting of emails that rejected this whole deal from the get go, and a volley of emails between me and CH as I demand that they remove this charge on the grounds that I didn't initiate this order. All I ever got back was a form letter reminding me that when I signed up, I agreed to blah, blah, blah. The idea that maybe I didn't sign up was not of concern to them. I tore them a new asshole when I demanded to know why their website was perpetually not functional for me, and their phone system had no humans to be found. All to no avail. Just form letter responses.

I sent that to my credit company. Finally, when the charge was taken off the account, I paid the last of my balance and closed the account, but the account would have to stay inactive for two months. Then I realized that maybe two things were at work. I told the people that I wanted that account dead and gone, and in a parallel set of conversations, I think the fraud claim opened up a new can of worms. While the account was paid down and set to be abandoned, the fraud claim then cut off that account and opened a new one. And won't you know it, but that was billed from CH, this time at interest! Well, I never have had a card issued from this new account, nor did I ever use the number. The first bill magically arrived with this new and improved sum on it, a charge that was never made except in some deal between companies. So, while the old account is now dead and gone, the new one has a charge on it.

I called the credit company to complain about this. I got no where. I told these monkeys that I had not made that charge, and that I wanted nothing to do with their company, and that they are my service that I signed up for and they should help me, not the merchants that I want nothing to do with. I was told, back in August about two weeks or so before my new account bill was due, that I could talk to an adjuster. I called this woman four times and left the required info. I got no calls back, despite offering her a time to call me. No response, but four messages. My due date came and went, and nothing happened. Then, in the week or so after that due date, I got a form letter from her. I was livid. These pricks can provide crap for customer service and be in a position to stall in such a way that makes me late for a payment, then have my credit record by the balls. So I just blew off two months of payments.

In the mean time, the credit company, seeing that I was behind in payments, began a daily campaign to call me. I think they called me 20 times or so in a week or so. Many times a day. I blew it off. Finally, after the second bill came, proclaiming my tardiness, I answered and gave the pathetic rep a piece of my mind. I told her it was ethically unjust to make me pay for nothing, an exchange made more corrupt by CH not providing me with service, and more so by the credit company failing me when I needed an adjuster to talk to. It was like she either could not understand my words or she was programmed to ignore them. How many times do I need to tell this broad that I refuse to pay, and that I want this off my record, and all my business with this credit company closed up and put behind me forever? How can there be a charge to a card that I have never used and to which I know the number only from a bill? Where did I sign my name on anything with this account? WTF? She said, the account can only be closed when the balance is zero. So I demanded that they make it zero—because as I said, credit is only imaginary money on computer ledger lines—and get CH to eat shit on it. I told her I wanted a supervisor to call me that day (since she couldn't patch me over to one—yeah, right). None called that Thursday. None called Friday. Funny, they hassled me on a weekend, but their supervisors aren't there to field questions on weekdays? Their system is geared up for vacuuming (imaginary) money out of pockets but not for customer service?

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

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