« The New Jerusalem Isn't Built In A Day »

I don't know how to feel except small. My daily life seems like an exercise in futility and meaninglessness. The more material my activity, the more I feel this way. Sitting at the computer and doing these blogs seems pointless these days. It has been just mind bending and heart rending to hear the bad news piled on day after day regarding the hurricane and the lame political response that followed. I also have to admit I go seek this stuff out, but if I didn't I know that I would feel neglectful of great need, if only to acknowledge the existence of such a thing.

Frankly, I think a lot of the outright depressing things I've pondered are getting their day now. The wheels are almost visibly in motion. More and more people are getting behind the peak oil theory. The news is getting saturated with it. More and more people are talking collapse of this structure or that. More and more nihilism reigns. It's overwhelming. It's a brewing storm, even as real storms brew and do their damage on a breathtaking scale, my storm is bigger. My storm of course is the one that will spell the end of the oil-fed industrial era, and it's hard to imagine anything saving our system. But I actually don't think we have a system worth saving, and that it's time for a new one that doesn't carry with it the destructive gravity that sucks man and nature into its black hole. But then I'm not sure that our present system's dissolution necessarily yields to a better system automatically. I think we have another several decades of withdrawal to contend with, and when it's done, who would be able to recognize it as the world we know now? It won't be that at all.

I constantly ask myself what makes me the slightest bit prepared to face what appears to be a massive change on all fronts, all within a few years or a decade. Like, change that is broad enough to render most of my day to day experience null. What will all my web design experience mean when computers are a luxury item? Or what will my recording experience amount to when the devices won't turn on, either to record things or to play them back? I have a few things going for me, but its hard to tell what impact they will make. Still, I find myself jumping at the idea of learning some old fashioned methods for living, but still not willing or able to seek them out. I dunno, yesterday a friend was talking about a friend of hers who knew how to preserve and can fruits, and I was all ears. I was somewhat less ears when she moved to the topic of knitting and crocheting, but I encouraged her and her daughter to learn it like their lives depended on it. I think if anything, my future will be more along the lines of dissecting industrial era artifacts and reclaiming their parts for new uses. Or maybe it will be tearing up paved streets to make way for urban gardens. Kelli anticipates being a minister. Her work will be cut out for her as people watch their lives of materialism go down the drain.

Kelli has been making bread this year and doing more home spun cooking, but still using store bought ingredients. We need to learn more about making our own food, and how to get it reliably enough to live on, or to minimize the need to pay for it. We certainly need to get off the packaged and processed food kick. That is set to be a failed system before long, at least when it becomes too expensive. I wish I could really just make music on an acoustic guitar, but my attempts to do so are disappointing. I fear all my electric stuff will be a burden I might have to sell or just walk away from. Drums are energy crisis proof at least.

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