Saturday
Aug062005

« Wrapping Up »

I spent the first night in the apartment last night after a long day of gutting my house, leaving but a few things left to go to storage or wherever my guitars and electronics are going to go. I was hoping to have the computer up at the apartment but it will take till Monday before the internet is turned on for real. I still have a couple things to make fit in the apartment, but so far it's amazing that what we do have there seems to not be so overwhelming. There might be some stuff that can be dispensed with still, to storage probably. Most of the stuff we would use on a daily basis is already there and seems to have a place. The few stacks of boxes yet to be unpacked will eventually get out of the way somehow and it will settle down in a few days.

After untold counseling sessions speculating the dread I had for the situation before me, it's actually seeming to be less dreadful now that things are in motion. What choice do I have anyway but to move and finally leave the house that I thought would be mine to live in and take care of for ages? Pretty much after I lost my studio, I was aware that almost any place would offer the same basic amenities as this house. I latched onto this place for so long simply because I had the studio, but when I began to use it less and less, it was clear that I'd have to adjust to something else. But really, with it being a family house of 36 years (all of my life), it was simply home to me and would have continued to be. There are so many things that make it so, and I wanted it to carry on that way, but there have been too many experiences that have made it too hard a slog to keep doing that to myself.

This morning, waking up in a smaller place, it actually seemed a little nice. Less work to keep it up, but this apartment has a lot of new or fairly new fixtures inside so it's actually a step up from my house where things were always in some state of remodel or disrepair. I've been doing work at this house for all the years I've been here and it will be nice to let some of that energy go elsewhere while being surrounded with some things that make it seem more or less new. I guess some "new" doesn't hurt a person so much. Kelli is pretty broken up at having to move. She is broken up the way I was certain I would be, but I've just decided it's time to move on and get with the new program. The choice was made for me, so really all I can do is go with it.

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