Sunday
Aug282005

« Still Alive, Dammit »

Oh damn it has been a hell of a month, this August. Hot, miserable at times, loaded with day job work, and more moving work, stress, drama and a little time to sit at the computer and just be me. Oh, and some days have been four shower days as I struggle to get things done. I played just a couple hours of "music" with some guys in a one-shot jam last week, and will try to keep going out sometimes if only to warrant my keeping my bass rig around me here at the apartment, and maybe to justify my keeping most all my music gear, having really only parted with the Rhodes piano in this process.

The up shot is that today is my first wedding anniversary, and Kelli and I are still going along, despite some rather desperate times in the course of all this moving mess which started nearly three months ago. Today was more or less mundane but for stopping in for some dinner that was made all the more possible by a church member who cut us in on some generous cash donation for the occasion. But other than that, today was as hot and gummy and sleepymaking as any other in the last month and a half. I worked yesterday at some Time Warner movies in the park show, and while it on its own was not crushingly hard work, it was on Saturday which has been a day off so far, and then it's back to work tomorrow. So my precious little anniversary will be sandwiched in between work days. At least next week I get a four day weekend.

My apartment is hot. My warehouse is hot. Everywhere I need to live out my days is hot. I've often been too tired or otherwise committed to just go somewhere and chill in the stores or restaurants. I keep telling myself to walk on down to University and check out the area, eat at some local eats, or go to Claire's to read or something. I have an EONSNOW presentation to put on in September and want to do some prep for that. I am supposed to be working on a website for one of the church folks who bought my services last year when I donated a web site job to the church. But things still have not settled down much around here. I feel really bad for letting so much get in the way of this job for him. I can't help it. For me, web design and music recording are just dead. I don't really know how life will settle for Kelli and me. As it is, we are already talking about moving again because of the relative convenience of being based in only one place once again. She's only gone to school for her orientation week and it proved to be a huge thing she signed up for, and with gas prices on the rise, who knows how romantic the idea of commuting once a week will remain. And we'll be apart a few days a week, or she'll be studying like mad for her 5 classes. And I'll be working like a dog here. It's just different. who knows what will settle back into place. It's been a huge change for both of us, and will continue that way for a while.

So it's not even 10 pm and I am dragging ass like mad. This time of day used to be when I would come alive and be able to look forward to another seven or eight hours of time to socialize, play and record music, write, whatever. Now it's time for shower number three and the fan blowing on high and making its usual racket of white noise and the rattling sound of its plastic components, along with the blinds flapping in the breeze all night. It drowns out the neighborhood, police cars, and freeway traffic.

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