« Ten Pounds of Dumb in a Five Pound Sack »

There is this broad who I talk to a couple days a week when I deliver to one of my seniors. Let me not mince words. She is dumb. But she is dangerous because she doesn't know she is dumb. She is a Republican. But alas, I repeat myself.

She is about as dumb as any Republican could get, I reckon. She takes the Rupert Murdoch party line hook, line, and sinker. Let me restate this. She is dumb. No, I mean dumb. There is a world of evidence now that almost anything she can possibly say in defense of the Republicans can be dispelled with even a few sources. Did I say she was dumb? But her real problem is that she can't listen worth a damn at all. She is the master of the red herring; I could be talking about peak oil issues and she will ask me why I am a socialist and believe that welfare is good. But to indulge her, I ask her about this welfare. I say 'Marie, you say that welfare is bad and that the government should not give handouts. But what do you think of corporate welfare, like the sort that is being offered the airline industry—do you think that is any different? Should a business be allowed to prosper before a single mother can feed her kid?' Then she wants to say I am just like Michael Moore—a communist and America hater, and that all of us who watch Dan Rather are in a big plot to destroy America. She can't imagine a world where a person can think on his own without the influence of Dan Rather or Michael Moore or George Soros. We're all alike. Compassionless America haters who don't support our troops, that's me and the guys. The idea of supporting our troops by avoiding war is totally lost on her. She says if I were a true Christian, I would go over there and fight for Iraqi freedom. When she feels really cynical toward me, she challenges me on why I don't support those poor people in Darfur. I counter with something like, 'See, I got this odd belief that maybe the government should spend its money on the American citizens.' Darfur sucks, but so does rising unemployment and corruption and civic breakdown over here. Maybe I could be a good American and support action here, because we need it pretty badly.

Another classic thing Marie goes for is that 9/11 and Al Qaeda connection that is so evident. Oh, I could bring her ten books and articles and the fucking Commission Report and she would say it's all lies. Did I mention she was dumb? I tell her 15 Saudis were to blame and she tells me they were paid for by Saddam. I tell her the war is for two reasons only—oil and Israel, and she tells me the usual party line and cannot even come to think that oil and Israel have anything to do with it. She is so eager to support Israel because it's a "tiny little country" surrounded by all those savages. Oh, well it's a tiny little country that has managed to royally piss off a good 1/6th of the world's population for doing some of the same things that were done to them 60 years before back in Europe. Oh, that one gets her blood boiling. I tell her that maybe if we are fighting a battle as a favor for Israel, maybe they could be nice enough to finance it or at least spill some blood along with us. Sure, when did our young men have to go fight a battle so that the Israeli swine could have the region crafted according to their plans? I'm sorry, I don't see the patriotism in that! Then I remind her that back in Iraq, they got oil for us. Oh, I tell her 'you know we aint there for the sand, or for the sun, or for the pretty girls, or for the fine quality of friends we keep there. There is only one stinkin' reason we have to be there!'

Getting some facts wrong is one thing, but for her, I think she has a total failure of imagination. She could work for our "intelligence" services with qualifications like that. The thing is, she is about 40 and has two kids. I offer that some of the stuff she is saying now is supporting a system that is going to totally consume her kids' future. And she totally cannot stretch her feeble mind to imagine what lies behind all these things. I tell her corporations are self interested and she calls me a socialist and tells me to go to Europe. But then I tell her that her precious Republican party is the same party that allows these entities to do all this reckless stuff, but they call it "free market" activity. Well, that is a good excuse for most of the failures today. I go for the heart and tell her capitalism is the thing that is wrecking all of America today, and even the world. Greed celebrated, I call it.

I bring her some copies of articles or books to back up my shit and dare her to do the same. Not one bit from her. She is dumb. She's like a plaything for me. She says I learned all this stuff in school, and that college will do that to a person. Um, well, no. I was away from school for a decade, and when I returned, I didn't learn content as much as I learned how to find it and form either my opinions or my arguments or speeches. No, there is something to be said for reading all sorts of things, and well, actually thinking this shit through. My favorite line now is proclaiming the US is the biggest investor in terrorism. Denial abounds. But then I say, 'well, if you spend nearly 200 billion on making war and pitting Muslim against Muslim for a few decades, isn't it reasonable to expect a return on your investment? How is that different from any other investment? We got ourselves into it, all because of our greed.'

She is dumb. I could only do this justice if I had a recording to play for you. One day...

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