« Left and Right »

I am left handed, though I play guitar, bass, drums, piano and sing (sort of) right handed. I also mouse right handed but use my graphics tablet left handed. I eat and wank (not in the same course of action) left handed. I write left handed. I think right brained, but I apparently am leftist in my politics. I put my pants on left leg first. I sleep on my right side. I would be lost in an English car on an English road, despite being a lefty. I can't use lefty scissors to save my life, nor does lefty notebook paper make sense to me. I don't always do things right, but I never do them left. I wouldn't want to be left out in the cold, but I reserve my right to do so if I so choose. I failed my first driver's test 14 years ago from an errant right turn on a red, but had my first car accident a few weeks later by an errant left turn. I think the Bill of Rights should be amended to be named the Bill of Americans, because it is too partisan in its current nomenclature.

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