Wednesday
Nov032004

« Fucking Bloody Hell »

Today, I came into the office after my route was done and the same person who once greeted me on my first day just over a year ago with "we're so glad you're here" today asked if I was alright or was about to kill myself. Then she thanked me for talking her into throwing her vote away on Kerry.

What the fuck?

Man, I went to bed last night feeling like shit, woke up earlier than I wanted thanks to neighbor kids messing with a karaoke machine (which helped make me feel like shit), then had to confront my trusty news outlets to confirm said feelings of shittiness. My first email was from a coworker of a friend of mine who had found out about my posters through him. She was the first one to commiserate with. Then I went to work, and got a call from another fellow lefty and talked about what a hopeless day this was. I went about my work feeling like shit, and delivered to a number of my lefty clients who also felt like shit. I stopped by the side of the road when the concession speech came on and felt like shit. Man, I even cried. Then after a while talking at length with some of my clients at the lunch group, we all felt like shit. Then it was back to the office where the above exchange was had. Then, after that, I was laughed at as I hastened to hope that some light would be shined on the Diebold machine factor—Diebold being a strong supporter of the Bushies and one that promised to "deliver" for them. I was laughed at. Fuck. And while I was sitting there in the chair, my therapist called to cancel for the day, and he knew I was going to be upset at all this. Even he was upset at all this. But it's not professional for him to get drunk with clients, no matter how much it would help.

I've never followed politics until this administration, and more in the last year or so. But I have gone into it with a good amount of conviction to understand it and the history that has lead up to it. I've had my head in books, magazines, internet, films, and conversations, and now feel like I am a lot better off than before when things didn't matter and I just trusted things would turn out okay. Realistically, life was no different for me between one administration and the next until this one. What I feel now is that the one chance we had at hope has been lost. It's not like there was any threat of the House or Senate going democratic in a way that would counterbalance the executive branch (or the administrative branch as Bush calls it). No, this was a pretty good sweep of a wide range of offices that went red.

I don't know where to place my disappointment. I know there has been foul play, but that will prove harder to prove since it probably involves the paperless ballots (which I believe should be thrown out in event of a recount, seeing how there is not ONE fucking indication of voter intent, and no fucking ability to honestly tally the count). But if the foul play were to be unfounded, then I would have to turn my disappointment toward the American population. I would have to lose a lot of faith in my countrymen. I mean, can it be that people actually want this asshole in office? Can we be that shallow?

Have we now chosen the party of ethically bankrupt war, environmental destruction for profit, and revoked civil liberties? Have we decided that unilateralism is the solution to our world problems? Have we decided that it is okay to preserve a cluster of cells not yet self sufficient but it is okay and even patriotic to send off perfectly fine young lives to die? Last I checked, an embryo or a fetus couldn't support the economy within a presidential term, but a 20 year old could. Yup, Mister Bush, if you want to grow the economy when it will do you the most good, stop killing the soldiers who could go out and buy those SUVs and computers and stuff. THEY are the ones who will grow your economy now and make you look good. But you are killing them off! Have we become Saddam Hussein's surrogate in Iraq? Surely we have killed a respectable share of Iraqis just the same as he would have done if in power. Have we chosen to have corporate cronies take on unbridled power not just in our nation and around the world? Have we chosen to let go of the reins when it comes to fiscal responsibility (supposedly the Republican strong suit)? Have we chosen to anger more and more people around the world, just so we can live in our little pleasure dome of gas guzzlers and cheap entertainment?

Damn. The voting population, even on this record turnout election, is still a small part of the world's population. It just sucks to think that for what amounts to a few million people that pushed Bush over the top, the rest of the world has to breathe this stinky air! At best, if America was a 50/50 nation, we'd be looking at 150 million people shaping a large chunk of world destiny for four years. But the voting population is less than half that? And only half of that is voting for Bush? So we are looking at well under 100 million people shaping world destiny. The fact is, there is more of the world than there are of us. And now some selfish assholes got their way. Their president was elected on the grounds of his "moral values" being somehow better or more obvious than Kerry's. So tell me, what part of his war is ethical? What part of his foreign policy of "benevolent hegemony" (a kinder, gentler imperialism—to echo his old man's theme) is ethical? What part of his election stealing is ethical? What part of his cronyism-at-the-expense-of-the-public is ethical? What part of his push to limit civil liberties for gays, women, blacks (and everyone but whitey business owners) is ethical?

If you don't want to have an abortion, don't. If you don't want to marry a homosexual, don't. You want to hang out with people of like mind? Go ahead. But don't go changing the makeup of the nation against all odds. And if you must, why not do it without wrapping yourself in the flag? That flag means a lot of things to a lot of people, and we don't need some puritanical, greedy fucks hijacking it for their narrow utopian image of what we should all become. You like the war and want to support your troops, and have done well in business thanks to some deregulations and privatization? Then go fucking CONQUER IRAQ YOUR FUCKING SELVES! Now would be the time to prove your so called patriotism. Fight your own fucking war there, because half this nation and almost every other world citizen didn't and doesn't want that war. And, once all you fucking right wing nuts conquer and subdue Iraq, stay the fuck there, and send those nice Iraqis here where their out of work scientists and doctors and engineers can be put to use building this country since the Republican trend has been to let all sorts of jobs go overseas just so the CEOs and stockholders can make more money.

Man, the world is fucked. Absolutely fucked. A lot of us were breathing in hope for the last few months, and now its like we got socked so hard the wind went out of us. I'm hoping against hope that somehow all the votes come in and are counted right, and that Greg Palast shines the light on any funny business that has been going on like he did in 2000. Man, who will be this era's Joe McCarthy who will chase out the red menace? Fuck communism. This nation's biggest threat is cronyism.

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